Ashley (00:00.046)
I hope you've all had a great week so far. I have, we've got a big birthday that we're celebrating in our house this week. So I'm trying to do all of my work at the start of the week. And then the end of the week is more like celebration. So I'm very excited, but so much to do. It's always the way, isn't it? You've got a million things to do in the same week. So we have like this big birthday. We have some things going on at school for my eldest who's in year 12. And then we've got some other stuff going on. always comes in the same week, but.
This week I want to talk to you and I think you might be thinking, this is a little bit tough love Ashley. And yes, it is a little bit, I want scrap all of that. Let's start again.
Hey everyone, I hope you've been having a fabulous day or a fabulous week wherever this finds you. If you're listening to this in real time, this has been recorded on the 27th of October in 26. It is still chilly and cold. I know I always start with a weather update for you, so I'm gonna continue. We're having the odd warm day and I can't wait for warmer weather to literally just be here and stay. I am so sick of the yo-yoing, but.
We have a very big week in our household this week. have a big birthday. My husband has a big birthday this week, later in the week. And so I'm frantically trying to get everything done and work done at the start of this week. And yet my year 12 son has about a million things that he needs to be at school for late, early. We have assemblies, we have information nights, you name it, and then throw in a 18 year old as well.
She is a preschool teacher and let's just say she brings everything home. And so then it seems to go around the family. But anyway, fingers crossed it doesn't this time. So today I want to talk to you about something that's going to be a bit controversial. And some of you are going to be like, you know what, Ashley, you can keep your own opinions. And I get that. But sometimes I find if this hits a nerve with you, there's a reason for it. And so
Ashley (01:59.756)
I'd like you to stick with it and stay with me and have a listen because today we are going to chat all about why you shop on the sales rack and why I don't think that you should. Now, I'm going to do a big caveat about this at the very beginning so that I don't have to keep going through it whilst I'm chatting to you about this topic. I am very, very well aware of like the cost of living crisis that is going on in the country at the moment. And I totally understand that there are some
that can only buy when things are reduced or when their means allows them to and all that kind of thing. I totally understand that. And this is not what I'm talking about today. So when you listen to everything that I am about to say, that is not about this. It is not about your budget, how much money you have, financials, anything. It is not about that. Because I find that the psychology behind shopping on just the sales rack, and I'm going to go into that in a little bit.
as well, a bit more detail to explain it to you, is very different to when you are on a budget. So please don't think I am being, you know, high and mighty and being like, no, you can never shop anything on sale. That is not what I'm saying either. When you shop on a sales rack, that is very, very different to say when a store puts 30 % off store wide, like say like the other week, Seed had 30 % off store wide. That is totally different to what I am talking about.
I am talking about the sales rack that is full of like a mishmash of clothing, a mishmash of sizes. It's literally like TK Maxx, but at the back of a store and it's literally all of the leftover stuff. And at the moment there's quite a lot of that leftover stuff because stores aren't necessarily able to sell. And that's the only place that you shop. You don't look at full price. don't look, you don't even regard it like you scrap that.
You don't look at full price, you walk straight past it, you beeline for a sales rack. There is a very different approach to shopping and to purchasing clothes if that's what you're doing. That is what we're talking about today. Now I know it sounds a bit deep, but especially as we're coming up into the Black Friday sales, I think it's really important to chat about this. But also I want all of you to be shopping with intention, not impulse. And I say this all of the time.
Ashley (04:23.029)
And more often than not, if you are shopping on that sales rack, it's an impulse thing. You're not going with a specific thing in mind. You're going to have a look at the sales rack and see what you can get for sale and what's cheap and what's a bargain. It is a very different mentality. And if you look at your wardrobe and you're like, it's a mismatch of clothing. I don't really like it. I just don't feel myself in it. And this is the only place that you shop. That is the reason why.
Now is today's episode going to undo all of that for you? No, because I do find that this is more, like I've said, of a psychological thing rather than it's not a budgetary thing. And the reason that I wanted to talk to all of you about it today is because this is something that is coming up again and again and again in the style reset with my clients in there. It is a big issue. And I think that it's one that needs to be talked about because I don't think
It really does necessarily get talked about, especially not in families. Like if you have someone who likes to buy stuff on sale, they always like to qualify for free shipping. They will always head to the sales rack and come home and look what I got for $80. I got these five things, all of this kind of stuff. These are the things, it's a mentality, it's a behavior. And I hate to say it, but it's not necessarily a behavior that is going to get you the wardrobe that you want.
So the two things don't align. You may be thinking in your head, I am doing absolutely everything right to hit this goal of having a wardrobe full of clothes that I absolutely love. And that I'm going to put these outfits together and it's going to work. But if you're trying to put an outfit together based on a mismatch of clothes, that you don't really know the colors that suit you. You don't really know necessarily.
to do with your body shape or maybe you do know your body shape, but you bought it on sale. So it may work for you. I'm going to make it work. And then you never do. And it sits in the wardrobe with the tags still on, or you are shopping for a season of life. see something on sale and you're like, I absolutely love that dress. And it's more of like a corporatey kind of dress. I really love it. It's reduced down to $55. Fantastic. You know, I'll find somewhere to wear it and you never do. And the reason that you never do is because you're buying
Ashley (06:40.951)
for a season of life that you're not currently in. Now that's probably a separate podcast episode, but the reason that I wanted to talk about this today is because I want you to question your shopping behaviors, your relationship with clothes and your shopping behaviors and how it could be fueling you into buying a wardrobe you don't actually like wearing. And I know that's a big statement and I know that it's a big call, but I am seeing this repeatedly. Now,
This isn't to cause shame. This isn't to point fingers. This isn't to make you feel bad. No, this is literally for me. I am hoping that I am turning on the light switch so that you can actually see what you are doing because I don't want you to have a wardrobe that you don't like. I don't want you to have a wardrobe that is full of a mismatch of clothes that you feel like you can never put outfits together because what that then does, you then start to question are you bad at fashion? No, you're not bad at fashion. You're just shopping in the wrong part of the store.
And like I said at the start, I'm not saying to never buy anything on sale. I had my eye on a dress at Seed with that sale that I was just talking to you about. And I loved it. Absolutely loved it. But I kind of umbed a nod. It was at the higher price point that I have in my head for like a, to wear for a dress, like a daily, everyday dress. It was at the high price point. And I was like, maybe I'll think about it. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about it when something's higher in a price point that you're not sure about.
but it came down to a really good price and I snapped it up immediately. That was me looking at an item and going, that is what I want. Did I look at the rest of the store and scroll through trying to see if there were other things I wanted? No, I didn't. I knew that that was the item that I wanted. That was it. I didn't look to see what other bargains I could get. I literally just looked for the item that I liked. I bought it. End of, end of story.
That's where impulse purchases can take place when you're scrolling through, just looking all the time. There's nothing wrong with looking, but if you're then adding to cart and then you're purchasing all these clothes, but you're not quite sure how you're gonna wear them or how you're gonna put them together with something or if it's actually gonna go with anything, you're fueling your own behavior. And therefore it's like this vicious cycle that you can't get out of. So I want to talk it through today because I want to try and help you out of it. Now, as I mentioned, this is something that I do with my style reset clients and
Ashley (09:05.695)
I protect their privacy fiercely as they know, because the work that we do in that program is really in depth. It's very emotional and they are super vulnerable with me. And I feel so honored that they trust me with all of this information to then let me help them work through it and find a way through it. And so that's why like the first week, sometimes even two weeks, depending on what they're going through is all about mindset. And this is where all of this topic has been coming out.
Now, now Starry said, absolutely love, I've only got three spots left for the rest of the year. So if this is something that you feel like you'd like to tackle before you go into the new year, so that you start with a clean slate, then just click the link below and we can have a chat about it. but in the meantime, what I do find with this kind of mentality, it's generally something that's been ingrained in you from childhood, your teens or your early twenties.
It is normally a kind of buying behavior that has come down through generations. Now I'm going to give some examples. I'm going to give an example of a dinner and I know that sounds so warped and so crazy, but I think all of you will understand this analogy. So when you sit at the dinner table and you've got multi-generation sitting there, you're going to have some of the more elderly generations finish absolutely everything on their plate.
whether they want to eat it, whether they like it, you name it, they will finish it. And they almost frown upon other members of the family, probably yours truly, who don't finish everything on their plate. And that's because I don't finish because I know that I'm full or I don't want any more or maybe I took too much and I shouldn't have, which that's on me. But I do not overeat. I do not take necessarily more than I want.
It's just, get to the point where I'm full and I've had enough and that's it. Other members will keep going and this is in so many families will keep going, whether they're full, whether they want it, whether they like it, they finish it. That is a mindset thing. And that was ingrained in them when they were children, because generally when they were children, like the boomer generation at the moment, you know, their parents were wartime parents. Some of them were on rations. They didn't have it. But those habits have stayed with them
Ashley (11:32.234)
into their 80s and their 70s. It's amazing how these things from our childhood can stay with you right the way through your life and you have no idea that they're showing up in the way that they're showing up. Now, when it comes to shopping, I find that this can be that when you were younger, potentially there was scarcity around money, therefore, your parents only bought things that were on sale or that they could potentially afford.
The difference is, and like I mentioned at the start of it, I'm not going after people who with budget, I'm not doing that. I'm talking about if you, even if you're on a budget, you can still shop intentionally for the things. You're not just buying something for the sake of it, especially if you are on a really strict budget and there's scarcity, you will buy the thing that you really, really want or you really, really need. You might even save up for the thing that you really want or really need. See, it's totally different.
Whereas I find that a lot of women that I work with now who shop just purely on the sales rack, it's because they have the money now, but they can generally hear their mum in their head saying, that's too expensive. Why are you looking at that? Why would you want to spend that amount of money on that when you can buy this that it's equally as nice?
Well, it might be equally as nice for you, mum, but it's not necessarily what I want. And breaking that habit is really hard. I really, really understand that. And I acknowledge that it is really, really hard. Do I stand around sometimes? Yes. Have I made purchases in my life where my parents or one of my parents in particular was like, I don't think you should be doing that. And I'm talking big purchases like cars and putting in a pool, all this kind of stuff. Yup. I did.
And it work out? Yep, it did. It worked out perfectly for me and my family because that was our decision. It's no different if you're looking at a top that's reduced to $3 that you don't really necessarily love. You like it, it's okay. Or maybe I can wear it just around the house. The colors were not what I'd normally would go for and the sizes, it's two sizes too big, but I think I can make it work.
Ashley (13:56.404)
They're the things that I want you to stop and think about because they're the things that have probably been ingrained in you from when you were younger. Well, it's a bargain. Why wouldn't you get it? Now on the flip side of that, one of the other reasons I told you we were going deep. Sorry, I had to break just for a sec to say, yes, I'm aware that we're going very deep today and I hope you're still staying with me. But the other flip side of that is calling out another behavior.
And that is there are some people that just literally get a thrill of buying quite a few things and the thrill of, well, I only got it for $20. I only got it for $15. It was reduced to 59.95 from like 270. It's a, it's a no brainer. It's an absolute no brainer. Cheapest chips. have to have it. These are the two kinds of mindsets that I see come out a lot in the style reset with my clients.
And I did ask their permission to talk about these kinds of things. Obviously I am not going into detail of who they are, but I did mention it to them that I was going to be doing like a podcast like this because, and even they agreed, it's really important, really important to be talking about these kinds of things because I don't think this does. And especially at the moment, there are so many sales, know, retail is struggling in Australia at the moment or globally at the moment. And there is a big problem with overconsumption.
And like this is a whole other podcast episode. I've pretty much got like two more that I should be doing for you because you know, I've even noticed that some brands that used to do seasonal drops like country road and seed, they did seasonal drops and they were the only drops. And maybe you would go have two maximum. I can't count. Like a client messaged me the other day or a friend I said, sorry, a friend messaged me the other day.
And was like, did you see this green and seed? I said, no, I was just in there the other day. And they said, there's a lovely new green. went on, there was a whole new collection there. And I'm like, but they literally just released a whole new collection about three weeks ago. So there's that whole other thing going on as well about this whole over consumerism. There's too much and people are trying to keep up with it. So I know that the sales racks are getting bigger and bigger in stores because they literally just don't know what to do with it. But I.
Ashley (16:19.669)
want to try and teach you to ignore those racks unless you're looking for the specific item. And the way that you would do that is that you stop looking at the sales rack and you literally go around and you look and you window shop and you try on full price clothes and you ignore the sales rack and you find the items that actually work for you. And when I say work for you, they fit properly.
There's no, I get pants having to be altered because they're too long. That's just something that happens for so many of us. Or even jeans. Like if you listen to my jeans podcast last week, but if you're looking at something and it's a bit gapey under the arms, but you don't like your bra showing, but you buy it anyway, do you think you're going to wear it? Like in all honesty, would you then wear it? it's a bit gapey under the arms. I really don't like my bra showing, but I think I think I could wear it. I like the color.
You can hear yourself talking yourself into these purchases. it's only $20. Now I hear that a lot. but it was only this. That's great. If you are going to wear it, I cannot tell you when we go through like the wardrobe clear out stage in a style reset. I can't tell you how many times my beautiful clients say to me, I feel terrible. This has got tags on it. I bought it in a sale and I've never worn it. And sometimes they've had it in there for years.
And I mean years. Other times it would be a recent new purchase, but then when they look at it again and they go, once we've gone through the program, they're like, you know what, that's not actually even what I wanted. I don't really know why I bought it. That happens a lot where women buy things on the South right. And then they get at home and then you look at it later and like, actually don't know why I purchased that.
I don't know. And the thing about the sales rack, which makes it really tricky, they are generally final sales. You cannot exchange for a credit note. You cannot take it back for a refund. You are stuck with it. So unless you're super diligent and then resell it on like Vinted or on eBay or Facebook marketplace, where's it going to end up? Generally at the back of the wardrobe, because even if you go to donate it, you feel really guilty that you spent the money on it and then you never actually wore it.
Ashley (18:38.197)
I find with the women that I work with, they actually spend less on full price items than what they do if they shop the sales rack. And I know that sounds so counterintuitive, but it's the truth. I see it all the time. And I would much rather that instead of you buying four or five items on sale, I'd much rather you spend that money and do it on one or two items that are full price that you love.
like really, really love. And that's where it's changing your relationship with clothes. It's changing how you think about them, how you wear, how you value them. Like in the last couple of weeks, I had on my style goal for spring and summer this year. Go back and have a listen to that episode. I'll put it in the show notes if you need some help. I knew the things that I wanted to purchase for these warmer seasons. Not that I really got to wear it because it's still been so bloody cold, but
I knew what I wanted. I wanted some dresses with some sleeves because I've got more things at school. I've talked about this before, events and things. And I just knew that the dresses I've got in there, they're more from me about 10 years ago. And I want to move some of those on and I want to bring in what I feel is my style now. I feel like it's evolved again, almost back to how I was before I had my clothing store. When I had my clothing store, it veered off course a little bit.
because I was trying to showcase all the clothes that I was selling. That's a whole other thing, but I'm trying to bring it back. When I'm shopping at the moment, I don't look at other things because it's so tempting when you do look at other things to be like, I really like it. I really, really like it. Can I afford it? No, necessarily, but I really, really like it. I just don't look. And that says a lot coming from someone who I shop for my clients for a living.
and I shop for my color collective members. I am constantly, constantly taking them through websites and stores and here's what is in stores and the colors and everything. I can block it all out. You would be surprised at for a personal stylist and someone who loves clothes, how much I actually buy per year. Yes, I have certain stores I like to shop at more. As you know, like I like Seed, I like Country Road. They're the
Ashley (21:01.549)
probably the two main ones that I like to shop at. And like I said, I knew the dress that I wanted when it went on sale. And so I bought it because I'd already tried it on. I knew it. But I'm not saying any of this to make you feel really bad and I don't want you to feel down about yourself. I'm saying this, like I said, to turn the light switch on because I don't want you to keep making the same mistakes that you feel you've been making because you've been making choices from the sales rack. So when you go to that sales rack,
Think of it's a mismatch of sizes and clothes and colors and cuts. You're literally standing there flicking through it, trying to see something that you might like. There's no shopping with intention there. And I am all about shopping with intention. I am not about shopping with impulse. Occasionally, very, very rarely will I go into a store and be like, my gosh, and buy it. I normally take my time a little bit, but if I do,
It's because I absolutely love it. Like I tried on something, it was in my Instagram stories on the weekend. I tried on this outfit and it was lovely. The fabric was so soft, the skirt fit really well. It was more in soft autumn colors. I can get away with some soft autumn colors, not the overly warm ones, the more neutral ones. And I tried it on and on sale, was on sale because they had a store wide promotion. It wasn't a sales, right?
And it came down to 200. And I was like, no, no, like, I know that it won't go with the other colors that I've got in my wardrobe. I know that it's a one and done outfit. It's beautiful. It's lovely. It's different to something I have, but no, for the $200, it was, it wasn't right. And so I put it back and it's okay to put things back. Don't feel that when you go into a changing room and you try even a million things on and you know, they're hovering outside and
they're wanting you to buy something and you don't, that's okay. You don't have to. It's also okay to try on something that's out of your budget. Say like not majorly out of your budget. I'm not talking about like a $600 dress when you can afford 150, but say like that dress was 199 and you wanted to try it on to see what it was like. And then when they had a 30 % off, then that's when you bought it because you could, because it was it within your budget.
Ashley (23:30.552)
That's totally different because you're shopping with intention. You're building a wardrobe that you actually want to wear. This is all about mindset. It is all about psychology. Yes, it comes down to cuts and fits and sizes and colours. Yes. But with this particular topic, it comes down to mindset and mentality. So what can you do instead? Right. Here are my tips for you.
I want you, if you haven't already, go back and listen to my nine tips. Now, if you're in the Northern hemisphere, please listen to it too. I know that it says for spring and summer, like how to plan your wardrobe for spring and summer. can literally, I think I even said it in it, you just reverse it. Every time I say spring and summer, just think autumn, winter, fall and winter, because the premise of it is exactly the same. Now, some of this might actually need you to do a little bit of work in trying to figure out
What are your colors? And I have so many free resources on this. If you're wanting my help with this, then absolutely we can do this together. Like you know, I have a virtual color analysis, but I would highly recommend it. This is you in this particular area and season of your life that this is how you're feeling. I would totally recommend doing the style reset with me. Like I said, I've only got three spots left to the end of the year. It's a five week program where we go in depth for an hour each week on Zoom. It is just you and me.
and everything stays just you and me. And we go through mindset like this. And I do give you homework between the sessions. And some of it is journaling and some of it is clearing out your wardrobe and some of it is Pinterest boards and some of it's a little bit searching and some of it is literally going shopping, not buying anything and trying things on. My star reset clients, they don't love that bit. I'm going to be totally honest. They're like, my gosh, Ash, when are you going to let me buy something?
And I do it for a reason, A, to break habits and to literally like stop them in their tracks or stop you in your tracks. But also it makes you look at clothes in a different way. And it's also that feeling of coming home without purchasing something. And I can totally get that. I still remember this when I was, I must've been seven and we went to the Logan Hyperdomes is when I lived in Springwood when I was a kid and in Brisbane.
Ashley (25:55.666)
And we went into the David Jones there. My parents were always like, David, you know how, you know how back then it was very much that you were either mine or David Jones. I don't know if it's still a thing. Anyway, we were in David Jones and I don't remember where my mom was, but it was me and my dad and my sister. And I'd seen something in the kids section. To get to the car park, you had to walk through the kids section. I remember, I mean, I loved clothes from, literally from them. And I remember seeing something. I can't actually remember what it was, but I remember seeing something.
And I really liked it. And my dad said, yeah, it's lovely. Really, really nice. Love it, Ash. So pretty. And then he carried on walking and I said, well, aren't you going to get it? I was seven and he was like, no. And I got really upset. I didn't have a tantrum, but I got a bit sulky and totally entitled. And as we're walking through the car park, he held my hand and he said, just because we come to the shops, Ashley.
doesn't mean you're always going to go home with something. Doesn't mean you always need to buy something. That honestly, that little mini life lesson, my dad probably doesn't even remember that conversation. But I do. That stayed with me my entire life. And that's one of the things that I employ into the style reset. And that's why I get them to go shopping, or if you want to sign up and do it with me.
that's why I get you to stop shopping for a bit because it is breaking the habit and it's making you literally stop and think and try things on and then leave without buying something because it's changing and altering your mindset as to how you shop. So I know we've gone quite deep today, but when I, when you go shopping from now on, I want you to
have a list of the things that you actually need in your wardrobe. Like I was washing the car the other day and yes, it was an old white t-shirt from Kmart, but you know what? I love those t-shirts from Kmart. They fit me really well. They're from the girls section, they're size 16. They fit so well. And I did the jet hose on the tire and the amount of crap that came off the wheel trim, it sprayed.
Ashley (28:20.041)
all over me. And I mean all over me. I have tried everything to get it out. It's not going to come out. It's grease and dirt and rubbish. That's on my list to buy a new one. That's on my list. So I have a list of, okay, I want to buy, I need to buy a new white t-shirt because I killed the one that I have and I need to replace it because I wear white t-shirts all the time. I have a lot of white in my wardrobe. So I know that I need to replace that.
Then I have on my want list, I've got still, probably like maybe another skirt and I'd like another dress, no more blue. I've bought two blue dresses now. I don't need any more blue dresses. I'd probably like a pink or something like that. So that's on my radar. And then in terms of a skirt, I'm trying to either make myself some skirts or I know that I would like a longer maxi skirt.
So yeah, they're the things that are on my list. I look at the styles in skirts. I know that I find it really hard to find maxi skirts that work for me. They either need to have like pleating and a lot of volume and a lot of gathering. Otherwise they just hang on me. A-line doesn't really work for me. Bias cut works for me. And also drop waist works for me. But I don't like the V drop waist. like, I call it like a rectangular kind of drop waist. See how specific I am with the things that I want.
to purchase or what I'm looking for. And that's because I've done the work beforehand to really, truly understand. And I'm not saying that these things won't change for me and my style over time won't evolve. And I'll be like, I don't really like drop-waist skirts anymore. 10 years time, that may happen. And that's okay because you evolve as a person and you evolve how you want to dress. But you have to start somewhere with knowing what style personality you are.
knowing what colors suit you. Are you warm toned or are you cool toned? Knowing your body shape, just measure your body shape. Measure, measure, sorry, scrap that. Measure your body. There's so much out there on body shape. I'm pretty sure I've done a podcast episode about it. Just know these things. It makes such a difference. You know, they say that knowledge is power and knowledge 100 % is power when it comes to how to dress yourself.
Ashley (30:45.643)
And like I've said before, these are, these things are a skill. It's not necessarily something that's taught. It's not necessarily something that is even really spoken about when you're younger of like, what would you like your style to be? Generally a lot of young girls, they get sucked into the trends and then they don't fully know really till they're in their twenties what they want. And then anything can happen and you sort of can get to your forties and have no idea that you even had a style because you never actually got to really figure out what it was. So I don't want you to feel.
bad about any of that. But you can make a change. You can make a change at any point. And if these things aren't working for you, and I can guarantee you shopping purely on the sales rack is not going to be working for you, then I highly recommend you make that kind of change. The goal is not to spend more. The goal is to buy fewer things that you actually wear more often.
And when you start to make these changes, I promise you it starts to make sense and you feel so much better and you feel so much lighter because your wardrobe isn't full of so much stuff that you never actually wore. It basically comes down to that. So thanks so much for joining me today. I hope that has been helpful. I hope it hasn't been too much for you. I would love to hear from you. If you have enjoyed today's episode or you feel like this is maybe
just turn that light switch on for you or if you're feeling a little bit unsure, I just want you to think if you wouldn't buy it at full price, why are you buying it just because it's on sale? That is a really big question. And I'm gonna leave that with you to think about because if you wouldn't buy it at full price, why would you buy it just because it's on sale?
If you'd like to work with me in the style reset, as I mentioned, I've got three spots before the end of the year. I would absolutely love, love, love, love to be able to help you start 2027 with a fresh slate and just building a wardrobe that you absolutely love and that represents you and who you are today. It is never, never too late to make a change and to be the woman and wear the clothes and try new things that you absolutely want to. Take care, my lovelies.
Ashley (33:07.362)
Have a great rest of your week and I will catch you next week. Bye.
